1
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,560
It's a conspiracy, that's what it is.

2
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,700
Well I ask you, how can
you keep your mind off it

3
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,120
if it's being flung at you
every moment of the day?

4
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,020
Well I wouldn't find it so
bad if I could ignore it.

5
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,440
But I just can't convince myself,

6
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,960
that what's under there isn't worth
all the fuss that's made of it.

7
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,560
Oh I know, I know, it's all
part of the scheme of things.

8
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,620
But I get sometimes like
if I get up to one of them

9
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,740
and there they are, falling
out all over the place.

10
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,640
And isn't that the point of it?
To get a fella feeling that way?

11
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,620
Of course I didn't really do it,

12
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,280
but otherwise I wouldn't be here would I?

13
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,360
I'd be in the can.

14
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,740
You know, I reckon I might
be a bit of a nutcase.

15
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,340
Nothing serious, just every now and then

16
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,360
some sort of fleeting mental aberration.

17
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,380
I say that's a very nice
see-through I'm getting.

18
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,100
Oh I didn't think anyone would notice.

19
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,940
I've been wearing it for days,
and nobody's said a thing.

20
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,660
And that's a very nice pair
of breasts you're wearing too.

21
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,380
Oh do you like them?

22
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,740
I should say I do, very well moulded.

23
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,900
Thank you.

24
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,160
I find them very disturbing,

25
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,660
very provoking.

26
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,620
Provoking?

27
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,720
What way?

28
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,060
But it wasn't like that at all was it?

29
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,080
Nah.

30
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,900
Gee they're nice tits.

31
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,300
I'm gonna give it all away.

32
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,600
Here's to my resolution
for the sexless 70s.

33
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,300
Er, sorry about that.

34
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,460
I was wondering if I
could borrow some sugar?

35
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,820
I just moved in next door
and I'm a bit disorganised.

36
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:23,260
If you borrow someone's sugar,
naturally you have to return it.

37
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,780
That's honesty for you.

38
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:28,900
- Your sugar.
- Thanks.

39
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,120
All that fuss and I had some all the time.

40
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,360
Hey you know, your flat and
mine are absolutely identical.

41
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,780
Isn't that spooky?

42
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,380
Except for the colour of the walls.

43
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,480
Mind if I look around?

44
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,440
Must be lonely your first
time in a place by yourself.

45
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,540
I don't think any of us
were designed to live alone.

46
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,260
It's such a hassle sharing
a place with other people.

47
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,360
Depends on the person.

48
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,340
Some people can get away with anything.

49
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,420
Other people can annoy you like mad,

50
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,680
just by leaving the top off the toothpaste.

51
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,500
Do you leave the top off the toothpaste?

52
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,600
Never.

53
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:10,940
I'm glad to hear that.

54
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,940
I lead a very well-ordered life.

55
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,780
Good for you.

56
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,100
You putting me on?

57
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:16,940
No I'm not.

58
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,460
I'm always being accused
of that, but I'm not.

59
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,460
I wouldn't put it past you.

60
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,120
I'm the easiest person
in the world to send up.

61
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,740
You know, I haven't told anybody this,

62
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,580
sounds crazy, but I'm
still afraid of the dark.

63
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,340
Big girl like you?

64
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,440
I'm only big on some things.

65
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,660
Being what you very well might ask?

66
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,760
Which I didn't very well ask.

67
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,220
But look at the position of the skirt

68
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,320
and the position of the hand.

69
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,460
That's right, those
things are very important.

70
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,180
Now what happened was very logical.

71
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,820
If anything that happens
on a couch can be said

72
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,840
to be logical.

73
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,040
Would you like a cup of tea or something?

74
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,900
If you like.

75
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000
I'm really very comfortable.

76
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,080
You've got lovely teeth.

77
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,220
They're not bad are they?

78
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,320
I get them cleaned every six months,

79
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,960
that nasty scaly stuff,

80
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,720
tartar they call it.

81
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,500
On the back or the front ones?

82
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,180
Yeah that's right only,

83
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:31,020
it's not a very nice subject
for conversation is it?

84
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,120
Bit hard to take.

85
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,540
I'm not finding anything too hard to take.

86
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,460
And on those memorable lines

87
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,160
we kissed goodbye to the sexless 70s.

88
00:04:56,120 --> 00:05:01,100
♪ Alvin, make him leave bye-bye ♪

89
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:06,220
♪ Alvin make him sing
ding-a-ling why oh why ♪

90
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:10,980
♪ Alvin make him cry ♪

91
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,980
♪ Alvin, make him laugh hello ♪

92
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:20,900
♪ Alvin, make him high
give him a sign you'll go ♪

93
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:26,000
♪ Alvin don't let go ♪

94
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:33,760
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

95
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:40,280
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

96
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:45,500
♪ Try to avoid it just
resisting now and then ♪

97
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:50,020
♪ If you'd only try to understand
no there you go again ♪

98
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,880
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

99
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,000
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

100
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,680
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

101
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:29,960
Who said?

102
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,160
Alvin!

103
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,180
Oh g'day.

104
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:36,380
What are you doing?

105
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,860
Any chance of coming home and
helping me with my fridge?

106
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,420
Go away Peggy.

107
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,140
I wasn't talking to you.

108
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,580
Will you Alvin?

109
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,500
I've gotta help Shirley here first.

110
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,020
Oh that's all right, I mean afterwards.

111
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,620
I told you to go.

112
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:51,780
Let go.

113
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,900
Leave us alone.

114
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,460
You'll get pregnant you know?

115
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,820
And won't you be jealous?

116
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:59,920
Let go!

117
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:14,920
Well I've done,

118
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,580
I've been helping them with their homework.

119
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,580
Really?

120
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,420
Yes, sir.

121
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,080
Well in view of your
own scholastic attainments

122
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,740
you think it's a good
idea for you to help them?

123
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,820
Well it's only since
I've been helping them sir

124
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,920
that my works gone off.

125
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,880
Well it's none of my business I suppose

126
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,480
but something else you're
doing to help these girls.

127
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:44,620
Just remember, you can't
make a career of it.

128
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,640
Yes sir, thanks very much
for the advice Mr. Horwood sir.

129
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,980
Would it help in any way if I

130
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,540
were to let you out early each day?

131
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,160
Say, five minutes?

132
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,240
That way you could give them the slip.

133
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,840
Darling, tell me more about this Alvin.

134
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,280
What?

135
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,060
Alvin Purple isn't it?

136
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,240
You say that half the girls at school are,

137
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,600
well you can't just leave it at that.

138
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,460
Why not?

139
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,560
Well I mean, if it's true, it's

140
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,880
fantastic.

141
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,760
Would you like a lift?

142
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,660
Oh that's very kind of you Mrs. Horwood

143
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,340
but isn't it a bit out of your way?

144
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,140
Oh that's all right, I'm not in a hurry.

145
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,240
Oh right.

146
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,360
Yeah thanks very much.

147
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,500
Maple Avenue isn't it?

148
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,600
Yeah that's right.

149
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,180
Mr. Horwood's told me
quite a lot about you, Alvin.

150
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,760
How he has to let you out of school early.

151
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000
You should get yourself a bike.

152
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,860
I'm saving up for one.

153
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,300
Good.

154
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,780
I'm only 10 quid off.

155
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,060
Well that shouldn't take
you long then, should it?

156
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,120
Oh I don't know, I'll need
to get some jobs after school.

157
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,420
They've taken the short cut.

158
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,520
Quick, duck down.

159
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,580
Mr. Horwood lectures in town on Thursday.

160
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,680
He lectures two nights a week too.

161
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,140
Go on, help yourself.

162
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,780
I always tell him he works too hard,

163
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,740
but he must always be on the go,

164
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,840
never seems to be able to relax.

165
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,260
How old are you Alvin?

166
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,700
16.

167
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,800
I'm 28.

168
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,120
12 years older.

169
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,620
12 years isn't very much.

170
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,720
You find it goes by in no time at all.

171
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,700
Go on, have another slice.

172
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,800
Thanks.

173
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,820
What do the other boys think about them?

174
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,920
The girls chasing you I mean.

175
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,420
Don't you discuss it with them?

176
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,820
Nah.

177
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,920
You don't talk very much do you?

178
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,180
Nah.

179
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,080
I don't suppose you'd
even bother to mention

180
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,160
that you'd been here.

181
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,660
Why should I?

182
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:28,940
Well some boys talk a lot.

183
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,260
They boast.

184
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,360
They even make up things to boast about.

185
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,980
I should think you'd be pretty good

186
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,420
at keeping secrets though.

187
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,520
Would I be right?

188
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,560
Depends.

189
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,200
Well I think you'd better go now Alvin.

190
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,120
Those girls would have gone by now surely.

191
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,580
It's been very nice meeting you Alvin.

192
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,680
Yeah.

193
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,660
Pop in again.

194
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,500
I'd like to.

195
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,420
Anytime after school.

196
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,260
Okay.

197
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,900
Oh and about that extra
money you need for the bike.

198
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:12,980
If I hear of any jobs going,

199
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:13,780
I'll let you know all right?

200
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,260
Oh I'd like that, thanks Mrs.Horwood.

201
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,500
Goodbye Alvin.

202
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,600
Goodbye.

203
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,740
Goodbye.

204
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,840
Bye.

205
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,580
Bye, thanks for the lift.

206
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,680
That's all right.

207
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,300
And thanks for the cake too.

208
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,220
That's all right too.

209
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,320
Bye.

210
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,560
Oh, Alvin.

211
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,020
- Bye.
- Bye.

212
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,120
Mind the ladder!

213
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,340
- Bye.
- Bye.

214
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,060
God!

215
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,700
Oh you poor thing.

216
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,800
You hurt yourself?

217
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,600
You all right?

218
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,900
Do you think I should have a look?

219
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,900
♪ Yesterday all my troubles
seemed so far away ♪

220
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,600
No, stop, Alvin!

221
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,320
Oh, Alvin.

222
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:30,940
Oh, Mrs. Horwood.

223
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,040
You're a big boy for your age.

224
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,680
You'll soon have to start
shaving everyday, wouldn't you?

225
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,740
♪ 21 today, 21 today ♪

226
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,660
♪ He's got the key of the door ♪

227
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,980
♪ Never been 21 before ♪

228
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,140
♪ Kings will say you can do what he likes ♪

229
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,900
♪ So shout hip hip hooray ♪

230
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,100
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

231
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,020
♪ He's 21 today ♪

232
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,580
I've always impressed on young Alvin

233
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,380
the value of a variety of experiences.

234
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,020
And as he's had 11 jobs
in the past two years

235
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,620
you can't say that he's exactly
ignored his father's advice.

236
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,720
I think he's beginning to learn

237
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:40,020
that in today's world you
must specialise in something

238
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,120
or you won't get very far.

239
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,120
It's your life, Alvin.

240
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,200
And this is my last piece of advice to you.

241
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,940
There are openings
everywhere for the right man.

242
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,060
Find out what you want to do

243
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,000
and then extend yourself.

244
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:03,160
In this world, there's no one
who can afford to be slack.

245
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,320
Extend yourself, Alvin!

246
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,220
Ed, I'd like you to meet Alvin.

247
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,740
Ed's in mining in the west.

248
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:42,300
Got a very healthy little
business going in Kalgoorlie.

249
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,300
Hello, Alvin.

250
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,140
G'day.

251
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,020
What are you working at now?

252
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,500
From what your father tells me

253
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,700
you seem to have a pretty
big turnover, meaning jobs.

254
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,260
Well actually at the moment, I'm,

255
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,420
Unemployed.

256
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,060
Keeping his options open.

257
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,620
Well I know how you feel.

258
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,180
I couldn't settle down at your age.

259
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,780
Well I'd be quite willing to settle down

260
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,060
as soon as I find something
that really suits my,

261
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,980
Special talents.

262
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:07,320
What are your talents, Alvin?

263
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,100
Well that's just it,

264
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,260
I'm not really sure.

265
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,620
Hey, Joan.

266
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,720
Excuse me one minute.

267
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,620
That's no way to handle
a man like Ed, Alvin.

268
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,720
He could open doors for you.

269
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:33,620
Alvin, this is Tina.

270
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,720
He's our host, in a manner of speaking.

271
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:37,660
G'day.

272
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,760
How are you?

273
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,180
I've heard a lot about you.

274
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,180
Well that sounds a bit threatening.

275
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,280
It's not meant to.

276
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,460
Would you like to dance?

277
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,560
Okay.

278
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,380
No, I think she's terrific.

279
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,260
Well you can have her, mate.

280
00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,000
Except she's insurmountable.

281
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,860
So was Everest before
I mounted a full scale

282
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:35,880
attack on her.

283
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,800
I thought you had a
proposition for us, Roger.

284
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:38,940
I have.

285
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:39,900
Water beds.

286
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,980
- Water beds?
- Water beds?

287
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,340
You could earn 300 a week in commission.

288
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,540
I don't see myself as a salesman.

289
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,100
Oh it's a pushover.

290
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,300
One of you does a spiel

291
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,400
and the other handles the installations.

292
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:53,980
Come on, Alvin.

293
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,080
What do you reckon?

294
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:04,140
You'd be smiling too if you
had a Magic Mountain Water Bed.

295
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,060
Now this water bed here, the basic style

296
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:11,300
was first developed by the
hippies of Southern California.

297
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,260
Now look at it.

298
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,420
You can see and it's obvious that there's,

299
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,720
there'd be nothing as restful.

300
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,160
Surely nothing as relaxing

301
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,220
as sleeping on a tonne and a half of water.

302
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,340
How much long you gonna be

303
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,780
filling up that damn thing?

304
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,620
It's the water pressure, Mrs. Jackson.

305
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,600
I don't know, you come
in here to demonstrate,

306
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,940
and it takes you two hours to set up

307
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:31,740
for the demonstration.

308
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,840
This just goes five more minutes.

309
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,180
It's ready, Mrs. Jackson, all done.

310
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,280
Coming.

311
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,560
You've changed.

312
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,940
That's right.

313
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,460
Do you usually go to bed at four o'clock

314
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,300
in the afternoon?

315
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,380
No, but, there's something
about a sexy waterbed salesman

316
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,480
suggest that it might be a good idea.

317
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,180
What's the matter?

318
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,620
What about your husband?

319
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,720
He's away for three days.

320
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,340
I always wait till he's away

321
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,740
to buy things.

322
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,700
Look, I don't really think,

323
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,820
Let's put it this way, sonny.

324
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,760
I might suddenly decide
that I want that bloody

325
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,500
big bag of water.

326
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,000
And what'll that do to your
commission for the month?

327
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,220
It goes without saying
that the marital relation

328
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,980
is considerably enhanced.

329
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,500
In what way?

330
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,380
Well it's very difficult to explain

331
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,220
without a demonstration.

332
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,300
But the principle of the water bed

333
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,580
is unlike that of a normal mattress.

334
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,860
Look, I really don't get the idea.

335
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,660
Action painting, dumb bum.

336
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,500
In America they do it on roller skates.

337
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,540
And in Japan it's a squeegee.

338
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,080
Well nobody's ever thought
of using the water bed.

339
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:13,320
Lull yourself on a cushion of sensuality.

340
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,200
You go right off, I tell you.

341
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:22,000
It's ideal for insomniacs,
spinal sufferers,

342
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,540
invalids, and a few other conditions

343
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,780
of the human body I couldn't mention.

344
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,400
Any questions, ladies?

345
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,100
Would you like something different?

346
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,380
What have you got in mind?

347
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,740
Leather.

348
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,840
That's not really my scene.

349
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,540
You don't like discipline?

350
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,640
No, not really.

351
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,920
Have you tried plastic?

352
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,940
Even the ordinary raincoat's
very erotic, you know.

353
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,660
What do you do with it?

354
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,860
I know, I've got it, I've got it.

355
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,100
What?

356
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,200
Top hat and spurs.

357
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:07,180
I feel ridiculous.

358
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,720
What am I supposed to do now?

359
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,220
The water moves when you move

360
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,300
and it displaces itself
into whatever position

361
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,060
you, were, well whatever position.

362
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,160
Sounds very novel.

363
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,560
Cheers.

364
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,780
Oh, nice whiskey.

365
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,380
You mean brandy.

366
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,220
Oh I'm sorry.

367
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,580
I beg your pardon.

368
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,860
I can hardly stay awake.

369
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,960
I've been working too hard.

370
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,780
At installing water beds?

371
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,940
Well it's not so much
the installation, as the,

372
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,420
As the what?

373
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,500
The customer contact.

374
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,140
Hey why are you persisting with me?

375
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,980
I'm so tired out, I'll be useless.

376
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,520
I have faith in your recuperative powers.

377
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:56,280
Have you?

378
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:57,060
Yes.

379
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,840
And for some strange reason, I like you.

380
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,160
You know that's the nicest thing
that's been said to me all this week.

381
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:10,900
Among all the things
that have been said to me

382
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,740
and some of them are scarcely repeatable,

383
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,040
that is the nicest thing.

384
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,420
Jeez, look at all the candles.

385
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:22,940
Is it your birthday or something?

386
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,040
I'm not that old, darling.

387
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,140
Yeah well don't ask me to blow them out

388
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,360
'cause I'm afraid I'll
probably just drop right off.

389
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,800
I think we might have
the lights off, don't you?

390
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,300
Sure, whatever you say, Mrs. Warren.

391
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,600
I like a little mystery to start with.

392
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,860
Oh, this feels good.

393
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,000
Don't worry Mrs. Warren, I'll revive.

394
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,840
Of course you will, darling.

395
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,500
The spirit's willing.

396
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,500
You shouldn't
knock yourself around so much.

397
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,140
I can see I'll have to take you in hand.

398
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,020
Is that you?

399
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:19,580
Who else would it be?

400
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,680
Christ!

401
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,300
Mrs. Warren was a man.

402
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,400
God, what a shock.

403
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,660
That's it, that puts me right off.

404
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,680
Right off it, mate.

405
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,340
You must enjoy it.

406
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,140
Well I don't know that I do it.

407
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,460
It just seems to happen all the time.
That's all it is.

408
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,420
Saves time in the long run.

409
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,740
Saves time, what for?

410
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,220
I don't know.

411
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,740
Alvin, why don't you stand firm?

412
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:01,580
What?

413
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,420
Why don't you resist women?

414
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,460
Well then if I have to resist them

415
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,300
or they have to resist me,

416
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,780
I don't know where's no starting.

417
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,220
Well you could always stop.

418
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,320
It's not that easy.

419
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,700
And don't you enjoy it at all?

420
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,800
No.

421
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,780
Well, I suppose if the girl enjoys it

422
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,020
I sort of feel it hasn't been
a complete waste of time.

423
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:31,160
But the problem is I
can't seem to avoid sex.

424
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,260
You can't avoid sex.

425
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,540
Have you ever tried, honestly?

426
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,260
Yes I have.

427
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,140
Sort of.

428
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,260
You're a case, Alvin.

429
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,980
You should see a psychiatrist.

430
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:43,780
You serious?

431
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,860
No I'm just making conversation.

432
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:46,700
If I was a kink,

433
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,060
wouldn't I know I was a kink?

434
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,220
I didn't say you were a kink.

435
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,120
You think there's something wrong with me

436
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,780
- and I should see a bloody headshrink.
- Well don't if you don't want to.

437
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,880
I'm not going to force you to do anything.

438
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,200
Now just say the first thing

439
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,100
that comes into your mind.

440
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,020
Now let's see, we'll take
an animal to begin with.

441
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:11,140
Camel?

442
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,240
Hump.

443
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,900
Now, say part of the body.

444
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,940
Finger.

445
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,960
Joint, knee, trembler.

446
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,360
Now, something with a bit more imagination.

447
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,860
Angel.

448
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,800
Choir, congregation,

449
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,080
crowd, gang, bang.

450
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:41,660
I'm sorry doctor, I don't seem to be doing

451
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,700
very well at this.

452
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:43,700
What's the point anyway?

453
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,180
To see how sex-obsessed my subconscious is?

454
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,160
I'm conducting this
inquiry, Mr. Purple, not you.

455
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Sorry, Doctor.

456
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,340
I don't know whether he's fantasising

457
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,220
or boasting or just trying to shock me.

458
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,100
He seems a pretty straightforward
sort of fellow to me

459
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,380
but then again appearances
can be deceptive.

460
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,820
Could it be schizoid?

461
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,660
I doubt it.

462
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,220
Has he shown any latent
homosexual tendencies?

463
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:14,900
Oh he did mention one homosexual advance.

464
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,100
He did, did he?

465
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,540
His account was that he ran for his life.

466
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,820
Ah, could be a subconscious attraction.

467
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,100
It often is when people
overreact like that.

468
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:24,860
But I really can't say.

469
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,180
You're a man.

470
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,580
I think you're far better qualified

471
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,600
to handle the case.

472
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,500
Liz.

473
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,260
We all of us have to deal with patients

474
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,260
of the opposite sex.

475
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,540
And really, when you boil it all down

476
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:37,860
the differences between the sexes

477
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,040
are really far less
than most of us imagine.

478
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,940
I mean I may have a little fuzz on my face,

479
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,500
you might possess a pair of rather

480
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,500
better-developed mammary glands.

481
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,260
Our hormonal balance and muscle tone

482
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,020
may be marginally different,

483
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,460
but beyond that there's very
little to choose between us.

484
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,700
I hope you don't mind my
saying this Doctor McBurney

485
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,960
but I do wish you wouldn't
touch me like that.

486
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:02,340
Good heavens, Liz.

487
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,380
You don't imagine I'm making
advances to you, do you?

488
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:06,540
No.

489
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,780
No, it's just that it,

490
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,880
it makes me feel uncomfortable.

491
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,180
Liz, 90 percent of the patients
who walk through that door

492
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,100
are suffering repressions of just the sort

493
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:17,420
that you have described.

494
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,880
In the world today where all of us

495
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,500
alienated from our bodies,

496
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,620
we're afraid of physical contact.

497
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,900
Sensory deprivation is a disease, Liz,

498
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,740
a disease which you as a psychiatrist

499
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:29,840
must learn to overcome.

500
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,720
Thank you, Doctor.

501
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,520
I'm sorry to have bothered you.

502
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,900
On the surface, one would say that

503
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,120
quite simply, you need someone,

504
00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:00,300
one particular person
upon whom you can leverage

505
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:04,860
the full extent of your
emotional reservoir.

506
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,100
Oh, that sounds nice.

507
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,540
I like the way you put it.

508
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,860
Someone who can give you enough exercise

509
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,580
while at the same time

510
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,700
having enough strength to
monopolise your affections,

511
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,400
to stop you being an
emotional irresponsible.

512
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,420
That's all very well, Doc,

513
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:21,900
but where do I find someone like that?

514
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,600
Don't be so impatient, that comes later.

515
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,140
First you must get some
control over yourself.

516
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,500
Now, this is what you must do.

517
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,160
♪ All right ♪

518
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,660
♪ Talk to me my sweet power ♪

519
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,820
♪ Be my friend ♪

520
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,900
♪ Gonna get back to Georgia ♪

521
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,060
Hello.

522
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,160
You after a cup of sugar?

523
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:00,900
That's right.

524
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:01,860
How did you know?

525
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,960
I'll be right back.

526
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,420
I didn't mean you to go out and get it.

527
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:29,260
I didn't go out.

528
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,360
Could you leave the door open, thanks.

529
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,620
Here you are.

530
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,420
You could leave it just
outside the door tomorrow.

531
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,440
Okay.

532
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,660
Well, goodnight, so,

533
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:44,940
been nice meeting you.

534
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,240
If you might wanna drop in again anytime.

535
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,380
Oh, is that a Picasso print?

536
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:52,860
Oh, yup, I don't know.

537
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,540
Oh no it isn't.

538
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,140
I thought it was but it isn't.

539
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,060
But that's Brian Ken.

540
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,500
That record playing is
definitely Brian Ken.

541
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,040
I suppose it could be yeah.

542
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:06,620
Yeah that's Brian Ken.

543
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,420
He's my favourite songwriter.

544
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:09,700
Is he?

545
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,380
Yeah I think he's great, don't you?

546
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,240
Well yeah yeah, he's great all right.

547
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,020
You don't mind if I
sit down and listen to it

548
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:14,780
for a while.

549
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,880
Yeah sure, that's fine.

550
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,540
You didn't have to do that for me.

551
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:34,540
Sit down, you little fool,

552
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,640
it's just a song.

553
00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:42,340
My name's Trudy.

554
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,980
I'm Alvin, Alvin Purple.

555
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,080
Purple, what a ridiculous name.

556
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,500
It's colourful.

557
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,220
Yeah I suppose it is.

558
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,900
Better than being called Alvin Pink

559
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000
or Alvin Puce.

560
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,960
Come in.

561
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,420
Aren't you well?

562
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,560
Well it's all these cold
showers I've been taking.

563
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:58,980
And I'd get a heart attack
running around the block

564
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,060
in the middle of the night.

565
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,140
But it works, doesn't it?

566
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,380
Oh yeah.

567
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,500
Bless you.

568
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,300
But am I better off?

569
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:08,280
I mean I was in better neck before

570
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,980
when I was out of control,
if you get what I mean.

571
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,020
You still haven't found the right woman?

572
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,540
Well what chance have I got?

573
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,540
Every time I get an inclination

574
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:16,640
I'm off around the block.

575
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:18,700
Mentally, I mean.

576
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,800
Mentally?

577
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,220
It's perfectly obvious to me

578
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,740
that women don't have
any real meaning for you

579
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,100
other than as,

580
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,180
What, sex objects?

581
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:31,600
There are other things
you can do with women.

582
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,500
Such as?

583
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:04,700
And the barman said

584
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,480
we don't often serve gorillas in this bar.

585
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,340
And the gorilla said,

586
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,420
the gorilla said, "At five
dollars a gin and tonic,

587
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:12,980
"I can understand that."

588
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,160
Well this is it, my little sin pit.

589
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,740
Do you like?

590
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:23,860
It's very nice.

591
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:25,740
Now come on, really.

592
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,340
It could use a woman's touch.

593
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:28,500
You reckon?

594
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:30,220
Oh excuse me.

595
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,680
Here, you take this, you won it.

596
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,540
Oh thanks very much.

597
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,340
No, that's all right.

598
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,440
I'll see you later.

599
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,400
If I turn retail, I'd make a fortune.

600
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,140
I have the feeling that our relationship

601
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:50,340
is teetering on the edge

602
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,820
and that any minute it could slip sideways,

603
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,380
go over the edge.

604
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,860
Into what?

605
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,640
Into something else.

606
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,660
All relationships are in
a constant state of flux.

607
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,100
What's that you said?

608
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,300
I said flux.

609
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,400
Oh, flux.

610
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:12,460
Do you think it's advisable

611
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:17,440
for a doctor-patient
relationship to be this intimate?

612
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,200
The doctor-patient
relationship has to be close

613
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,460
if it's to get the best result.

614
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,560
Oh yeah, I agree.

615
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,160
Science can only go so far.

616
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,800
After that, we all have to depend on trust.

617
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,720
Hey Doc, I think I'm cured.

618
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,580
What are you saying?

619
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:08,860
Well it's nearly dawn.

620
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,580
We've been sitting here all that time

621
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:11,860
and I haven't had to go
and have a cold shower

622
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:13,780
or run around the block or anything.

623
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,880
Doc, you're a marvel!

624
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,680
Yes, Alvin.

625
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,000
Congratulations.

626
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,300
I'm glad to have been of use to you.

627
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,400
Good night.

628
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:47,700
I'm cured!

629
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,480
Dr. McBurney?

630
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,120
Come in.

631
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:04,060
Dr. Sort has asked me
to take over your case.

632
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,020
Is anything the matter?

633
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,120
Not really, sit down.

634
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:10,620
No thanks.

635
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:13,140
Dr. Sort describes herself
as having been placed

636
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,860
in a professionally embarrassing situation.

637
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,700
Well I hadn't done anything.

638
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,380
I am very well aware
of exactly what you did

639
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,400
and did not do.

640
00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:26,820
From the very first time that Dr. Sort

641
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,260
confided in me that you are causing her

642
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,100
some rather serious problems,

643
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,260
I predicted something
like this would happen.

644
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:38,220
Psychiatry is a curious
profession, Mr. Purple.

645
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,620
A psychiatrist is something
between a medicine man,

646
00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:44,920
a scientist, a father-confessor,
even a con man.

647
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,580
A psychiatrist is also human.

648
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,940
Dr. Sort will never be a good psychiatrist

649
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,960
until she learns a lot more about herself.

650
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,780
The same applies to you, Mr. Purple.

651
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,140
But I'm cured.

652
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,780
There was never anything wrong with you.

653
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:11,940
Would you like a drink?

654
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,820
Gin, martini, scotch.

655
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,580
Scotch, thanks.

656
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,660
In fact you're normal, excessively so.

657
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:20,860
Water?

658
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:21,660
No thanks.

659
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,300
It's not psychiatry you need,

660
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,860
it's vocational guidance, Mr. Purple.

661
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,500
Look, I don't know how
you're placed at the moment

662
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,680
but I'd like to put a proposition to you.

663
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,560
I believe we could be of
considerable use to each other.

664
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,140
Mr. Purple?

665
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:32,300
Dr. McBurney gave me this address.

666
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,400
Come in, come in.

667
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,220
Miss Thorne, is it?

668
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:39,320
That's right.

669
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,540
You understand, I'm rather
nervous about coming

670
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,620
but Dr. McBurney assured me
you were the right person

671
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,700
for my problem.

672
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,080
Well I hope I am, Miss Thorne.

673
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,380
To be quite honest, I'm a
little bit nervous myself.

674
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,900
Oh well you're nervous?

675
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,000
Well I don't know if I
should tell you this but,

676
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,480
well you're my first patient.

677
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,120
Oh, am I?

678
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,460
That's nice.

679
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,340
That means that we're both beginners then.

680
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:06,780
That's right.

681
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:08,300
Anyway, sit yourself down

682
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,600
and make yourself comfortable.

683
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:15,700
Do you like champagne?

684
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,060
Thank you.

685
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,800
I'll be back in a moment.

686
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,020
You'll like Patience.

687
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,540
Her condition is simply one
of arrested sexual expression.

688
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,740
Broken engagement caused in her mind

689
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,440
by her apparent inability
to satisfy her fiancee.

690
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:54,860
Sorry about this one.

691
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,860
If she's really too much, back out.

692
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,500
Plead a migraine or something.

693
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,180
But at 36 she could badly
do with the Purple method.

694
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,740
This one needs a touch of brutality.

695
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,740
Jump off a wardrobe if necessary

696
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:09,980
but don't injure yourself.

697
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:11,900
You have a busy week coming up.

698
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,300
May I introduce Miss Guernsey.

699
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,380
I thought a change in
performance might interest you.

700
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,300
She's an ex missionary, naturally a virgin.

701
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,620
Had fantastic dreams about being raped

702
00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:27,300
by her African Sunday school pupils.

703
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,500
Now I don't want you to do
a Tarzan all over the place

704
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,500
but I do want you to frighten her.

705
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:35,140
Just enough to convince her

706
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,760
she's saved it for Jesus
by the skin of her whatnot.

707
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,560
Oh my heartiest
congratulations, Miss Thorne.

708
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,380
What's that?

709
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,620
No, no, we psychiatrists
are only too pleased

710
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:09,260
to do ourselves out of a job,

711
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,660
if it all turns out as
successfully as that.

712
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:15,420
Yes.

713
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:17,520
Yes, bye now.

714
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,700
That was Patience.

715
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:22,380
She's getting engaged next month.

716
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,580
Oh, that's great.

717
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,720
I'd really like to go to
the wedding, you know that?

718
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:26,800
No, I mean it.

719
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:27,620
Cigar?

720
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,720
Yes, I don't mind if I do.

721
00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:41,740
You know I can honestly
say I'm enjoying my work.

722
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:43,660
They're really very nice ladies.

723
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,540
Even the missionary?

724
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:49,380
Now I've got to admit

725
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,920
she very nearly did me a
serious injury, that one.

726
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,100
He had a bloody spearhead
stuck down her garter.

727
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:57,180
No, as true as I sit here.

728
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:58,540
I stepped on a leopard skin in front

729
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,100
just in the nick of time.

730
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,760
Well you know, I did paint
rather a black picture of you.

731
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,660
She was supposedly there to convert you!

732
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,760
Ha, convert.

733
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,820
Do you make up stories for all of them?

734
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:23,100
Not always.

735
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,420
But the majority of
people would misunderstand

736
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:26,900
what we're doing.

737
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,660
But so far so good.

738
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,760
No slip ups.

739
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:02,820
Mr. Purple?

740
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,920
God, Liz.

741
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,780
Hmm, very nice.

742
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:12,940
Oh, there you are.

743
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,280
Not that you really need it.

744
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,360
Can I have some champagne please?

745
00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:35,460
I don't get it.

746
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,220
Did Dr. McBurney send you?

747
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,400
Don't you think he would?

748
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:39,180
No I don't.

749
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,060
I see, and what's so special about me?

750
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,140
It's just, well he never
usually springs people

751
00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:44,300
on me like this.

752
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,400
Well there's always a first time.

753
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:50,120
This is highly irregular, you know.

754
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,420
A patient of yours came to see

755
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,340
Dr. McBurney yesterday.

756
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,640
Unfortunately he was out
so she saw me instead.

757
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,620
What she didn't know is
that I hadn't been informed

758
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:04,580
of this little setup.

759
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:05,980
You are resourceful, you two,

760
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,080
I must congratulate you.

761
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,180
Are you still listening?

762
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,620
Yeah, yeah, I'm listening.

763
00:48:11,720 --> 00:48:13,260
It's quite simple.

764
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,380
I want from you what you're so eager

765
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,020
to give to other women.

766
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:20,940
I want it when I want it
and as often as I want it.

767
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,220
And if you think this is unreasonable,

768
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:26,180
just think how unreasonable
your activities would seem

769
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,460
if ever they hit the newspapers.

770
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,960
To say nothing of what
would happen to McBurney.

771
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,300
I have an appointment this afternoon.

772
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,580
I don't want to disappoint my patient.

773
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:50,940
Did you listen to the tape?

774
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,220
That's blackmail.

775
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,320
That's right.

776
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,060
I wish you didn't have
to make it so early, Liz.

777
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,600
I'm sorry Alvin but I have
to be at the office by 10.

778
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,540
I understand this is for you?

779
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,020
You're not wrong, you know.

780
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,120
You're right.

781
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,540
You don't look well, Mr. Purple.

782
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,220
I'm sorry.

783
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,320
You ought to see a doctor.

784
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,240
My trouble is that I can't avoid it.

785
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,460
And guess what, darling.

786
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,680
I don't have any patients this morning.

787
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,160
So I don't have to be in till after lunch.

788
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,280
Alvin.

789
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,740
Alvin!

790
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,540
Alvin, did you hear what I said?

791
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:05,020
That's great.

792
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,220
Absolutely fabulous.

793
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,320
Bloody marvellous news.

794
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:12,660
What is it?

795
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,060
It's a pin.

796
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:15,020
If I happen to doze off,

797
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,120
just give us a short sharp jab.

798
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,660
It's nothing personal if I do it,

799
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,860
it's just that I have this
tendency to commit rivery.

800
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:23,700
Commit rivery?

801
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,140
Yeah you know, get right off, drift away,

802
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:29,580
up with the nimbuses and cumuluses

803
00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:32,180
and all the other little puffs of God.

804
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,140
Oh that's really beautiful.

805
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:36,980
I'm not being too good at
keeping the mind in my work.

806
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:38,500
Am I work?

807
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,340
I suppose if you are my therapist, then,

808
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,900
Don't get me wrong, it's just a matter of

809
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,920
me helping myself by helping you

810
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,320
if you get what I mean.

811
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,080
I just don't understand it.

812
00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:56,860
Are you ill or something?

813
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:58,780
Just a bit tired, that's all.

814
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,420
I did think five a week was all right.

815
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,940
Yesterday's patient was in a real state.

816
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:04,900
Yesterday?

817
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,100
What happened yesterday?

818
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,460
She says you fell asleep on top of her.

819
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:11,560
Oh, that one.

820
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,820
I send her to you for
confidence and this happens.

821
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,000
Would you like some pumpkin seeds, Doc?

822
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,820
Frankly Alvin, you have me worried.

823
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,480
I mean the success of our whole
operation is in your hands.

824
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,440
I can supply you the patients
but you must satisfy them.

825
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:35,820
You must keep up your end of the business.

826
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:37,920
Oh, well put.

827
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:58,580
What's the matter, Alvin?

828
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,900
Well I suppose it's like everything else.

829
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:03,000
You lose form if you overdo it.

830
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,440
Hmm.

831
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,480
Maybe you need a holiday.

832
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,880
Oh, watch where you're going!

833
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:26,860
You have no idea how glad I
am to see you, Miss Donovan.

834
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,260
I'm glad to see you too, Alvin.

835
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,360
Not as glad as I am, that's for sure.

836
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:48,780
Hey, listen to this.

837
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:52,180
Pam the bearded dragon, 31

838
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,660
seeks musical, literary
or linguistic dragonette.

839
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,620
Beardless but sexy.

840
00:52:57,720 --> 00:52:59,080
How does that appeal to you, Tina?

841
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,120
I like the linguistic bit.

842
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,180
What about this one?

843
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,220
I am packed off of one night stands.

844
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:08,980
Sounds like you, Alvin.

845
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,460
Shat off with shallowness,

846
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,900
quiet, calm guy 25

847
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,220
would like to meet couple under 30

848
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,940
willing to dally discretely during daytime.

849
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,540
Status, looks, unimportant.

850
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,260
Any takers?

851
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:23,980
What on earth would they do?

852
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,060
Only cost you a dollar to find out.

853
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,600
Can't you bastards talk
about anything but sex?

854
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,560
Doesn't sound like our Alvin.

855
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,300
You know I think the
whole thing's overrated.

856
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:42,580
What whole thing?

857
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:43,780
Sex.

858
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,020
Wasn't the only reason
we hit it off so well

859
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,120
because there's no sex in it?

860
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,880
How do you know there's no sex in it?

861
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,660
Well if I thought there was,

862
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,220
I'd run a mile.

863
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,820
Alvin, you're wanted on the phone.

864
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:03,920
Coming!

865
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:09,340
Hello?

866
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:10,360
Alvin, I've got to see you.

867
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,020
Look, I don't know how to put this

868
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:14,580
but I can't go on.

869
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:15,400
Yes, but Alvin.

870
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,460
No, as far as I'm concerned, it's all over.

871
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,000
It's not, you know.

872
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:20,660
It's just about to begin.

873
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,980
When your wife visits a psychiatrist,

874
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,660
are you certain what transpires?

875
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:36,500
Some 220 concerned husbands
are suddenly far from sure

876
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,740
after yesterday's shock disclosure

877
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,700
that a prominent and
distinguished psychiatrist

878
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,460
has been running what
amounts to a male brothel

879
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,420
for neglected wives.

880
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,780
A spokesman for the 220 husbands

881
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,500
said the psychiatrist and his associate

882
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,500
will be sued for a million dollars

883
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,860
for incitement to commit adultery.

884
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,700
However a prominent legal
advisor commented today

885
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:58,820
that it will be difficult
to establish the grounds

886
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,900
on which such a suit could be filed

887
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:05,460
unless one instance of proven
adultery could be established.

888
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,780
And as yet, the group has not nominated

889
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,920
which wife will be
mounted as the test case.

890
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,800
I see what you mean.

891
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,820
This is where I get off the bus

892
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,860
and my advice to you
is to do just the same.

893
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,940
Take the first plane out.

894
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,420
Well I would, except...

895
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:26,940
Except what?

896
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,420
Except there's someone I
feel a certain attachment to.

897
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:30,780
Are you mad?

898
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,500
It was Liz Sort who
dubbed this whole thing.

899
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:34,340
Liz?

900
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,440
I don't know what you did to her
but she's really got it in for us now.

901
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:56,240
Be seated.

902
00:56:00,720 --> 00:56:02,660
Proceed.

903
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,500
I would like to call Dr. Elizabeth Sort

904
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:05,420
to the witness stand.

905
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:07,520
Dr. Elizabeth Sort.

906
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:18,740
Take the bible in your right
hand and repeat after me.

907
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,420
I swear by almighty God.

908
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:21,700
I swear by almighty God.

909
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,340
That the evidence I
shall give in this case.

910
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,060
That the evidence I
shall give in this case.

911
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,460
- Will be the truth.
- Will be the truth.

912
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,020
- The whole truth.
- The whole truth.

913
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,360
- And nothing but the truth.
- And nothing but the truth.

914
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,860
The question I'd like
to put to you, Dr. Sort is

915
00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:41,180
what was your relationship
with the accused, Alvin Purple?

916
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:43,180
Well he began as a patient of mine

917
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,020
but he is what's clinically known

918
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:46,420
as a satyromaniac.

919
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:48,900
That's the male equivalent
of a nymphomaniac.

920
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,640
His treatment of women is of a completely

921
00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:52,620
animal reflex nature.

922
00:56:52,720 --> 00:56:54,660
He can't keep his hands off anyone.

923
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:58,660
Did he make advances to you, Dr. Sort?

924
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:00,860
I'd prefer not to go into the matter.

925
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:01,980
Well I would!

926
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:03,180
Order in the court.

927
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,360
I must ask you to remain seated.

928
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,540
When did you first learn that Dr. McBurney

929
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:12,340
and the accused were conducting a brothel

930
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:14,460
under the guise of a therapeutic clinic?

931
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,620
Two days ago when I
first informed the police.

932
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:18,040
That's a lie, she knew of all...

933
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:19,260
I'm warning you.

934
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:21,760
If you interrupt again
I'll have you removed.

935
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,000
Hey, hey here!

936
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,500
That's all I need.

937
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:35,860
Yeah, not surprising, is it?

938
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:37,960
You ought to be locked up.

939
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,340
Bloody disgusting, that's what it is.

940
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,440
Preying on poor, screwed up Sheilas.

941
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,500
What's a nice girl like you doing up around

942
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:48,900
with a pervert like him?

943
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,220
Alvin's not a pervert.

944
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,320
That's how it is?

945
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:53,540
I'd kick the two of you out

946
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,380
but it's against the law to refuse a fare.

947
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,960
Well let us out then if
that's the way you feel.

948
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:03,040
My pleasure, lady.

949
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:10,260
Why don't you wait for the facts

950
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:12,360
before you make up your mind, eh?

951
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,780
How much did
McBurney pay for your services?

952
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:23,260
It depended on how many
clients I handled a week.

953
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,180
And how many would that normally have been?

954
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:26,820
It varied, there's some weeks five,

955
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,340
some weeks as high as 14
but that was pushing it.

956
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,260
Did you work on a commission basis

957
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:39,940
or a flat rate?

958
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:41,340
I object, my Lord.

959
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,060
My learned friend is taking
my client with contempt.

960
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,340
Quite the contrary.

961
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,220
By his own testimony,

962
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:52,160
your client deserves our utmost respect?

963
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:56,540
These are the premises
of 121 Emerald street

964
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,180
where the events occurred which led

965
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:00,500
to the instant legend of Alvin Purple,

966
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,140
the great lover.

967
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,260
Already, a strange aura has built up

968
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,300
around this seemingly incredible character

969
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,340
who made love to several hundred women

970
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,860
with apparently untiring energy.

971
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,260
But who is Alvin Purple?

972
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,860
There are those who knew
him outside the bedroom.

973
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:19,060
And in an effort to piece
together some portrait of the man,

974
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,280
we have recorded the following interviews.

975
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,420
What do you recall of Alvin Purple?

976
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,660
Well Alvin was a mature boy for his age.

977
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:32,120
He was always very attentive in class.

978
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,780
But though I would say that in the end

979
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,660
the workload proved too great for him.

980
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,460
Excuse me, are you Mr. Dooley?

981
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:40,220
Yeah, why?

982
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,180
Now I'm wonder,
see if you can give us a quick interview

983
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:42,940
for the news.

984
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:43,900
You do know Alvin?

985
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,380
I am familiar with him, Mr. Purple, yes.

986
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:47,740
Can you tell us something about him?

987
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:48,660
What sort of a person is he?

988
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,300
Well he was always a big boy.

989
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,620
I mean he always had a
big future in front of him

990
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:53,980
and other places.

991
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:55,260
But what is his future?

992
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,180
Do you expect him to be able
to get out of this trouble?

993
00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,280
He always got out of
everything he's ever got into.

994
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:02,300
Always got out at some stage
after he got into it, always.

995
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:03,320
Thanks very much, Mr. Dooley.

996
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:04,860
Thank you. - Thank you.

997
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:07,100
Mrs. Warren, how did
Alvin Purple strike you?

998
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,220
Well people are never what they seem.

999
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:11,060
I only met Alvin once.

1000
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,780
And in my opinion, he was quite terrified

1001
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:15,540
of the thought of sex.

1002
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,860
And that gives you some idea
of this modern-day Casanova

1003
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:23,460
who for a reputed 80 dollars a consultation

1004
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:25,380
can be said to have laid the problems

1005
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:27,480
of a legion of women.

1006
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:35,160
Well I'm no prude, Alvin

1007
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:36,540
but you can imagine this has been a pretty

1008
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:37,940
traumatic experience for us all

1009
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,300
particularly your mother.

1010
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:42,820
Oh Alvin, how could you do those things?

1011
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:44,740
Some of them were pretty attractive things.

1012
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:45,540
What's that?

1013
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:46,380
Oh nothing, Mrs. Purple.

1014
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:48,260
The case is still sub-judicy.

1015
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,180
They haven't proved anything yet.

1016
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:51,280
You're right.

1017
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:53,160
Just because they say
Alvin's done those things

1018
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:55,240
doesn't mean to say he really has,

1019
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:59,680
does it Alvin?

1020
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,620
Dr. Sort, are you aware

1021
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,780
of the whereabouts of Dr. McBurney?

1022
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:10,880
I understand he's left the country.

1023
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,660
Do you think his unorthodox therapy

1024
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:17,300
will lead to his being struck
off the medical register?

1025
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:18,400
Of course.

1026
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:19,860
Does it surprise you then to learn

1027
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:21,880
that this will not take place?

1028
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:23,740
You must be misinformed.

1029
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,220
No you are the one who's
misinformed, Dr. Sort.

1030
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:29,660
Dr. McBurney's career has come
under the closest scrutiny.

1031
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,500
And it appears that the man has never been

1032
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:34,420
a qualified medical practitioner.

1033
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:36,600
He's a charlatan, a quack.

1034
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,200
You're not talking to me?

1035
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:41,660
No.

1036
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:43,020
Do you think I'm a monster?

1037
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:43,860
Yes.

1038
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:44,700
Look, Tina, if I ever get out,

1039
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:46,780
just would you con, nah
of course you wouldn't.

1040
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:48,500
No I wouldn't.

1041
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,600
What do you want?

1042
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:53,220
How can I ever say it, you scare me.

1043
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:55,320
Shut up, Alvin.

1044
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:17,000
♪ I haven't the time and I
haven't the rhyme to tell you ♪

1045
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,620
♪ To see what's really you ♪

1046
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:26,460
♪ To know of what I went through ♪

1047
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:31,220
♪ That's where you are ♪

1048
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:36,320
♪ What a lonely lonely
some type of man you are ♪

1049
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,260
♪ Breaking your heart ♪

1050
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:47,360
♪ Only wanna be free ♪

1051
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,580
♪ Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong ♪

1052
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:55,680
♪ Maybe we're all the same ♪

1053
01:02:56,880 --> 01:03:00,820
♪ Maybe you need to know ♪

1054
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:05,920
♪ Maybe you need to grow a little older ♪

1055
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:13,600
♪ What a lonely lonely
some type of man you are ♪

1056
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,420
♪ But you're only halfway ♪

1057
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:22,920
♪ Some type of man to me ♪

1058
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:29,660
You do scare me, you know.

1059
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,460
You've never been scared
of anything in your life,

1060
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,480
that's what's wrong with you.

1061
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,120
Tina, would you,

1062
01:03:37,880 --> 01:03:40,960
- I feel like a complete idiot.
- You are a complete idiot.

1063
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,040
Will you marry me?

1064
01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:48,700
Tina?

1065
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,220
How many other women have
you asked to marry you?

1066
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:52,620
None.

1067
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:53,460
You're a liar.

1068
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:55,380
I'm not.

1069
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:57,480
I love you, Tina.

1070
01:03:59,960 --> 01:04:01,860
Mr. Purple, were you aware

1071
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,100
that the so-called Dr. McBurney was running

1072
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:06,980
any other business apart
from his sex clinic?

1073
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:08,380
No.

1074
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,420
The police have made
a thorough investigation

1075
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:11,860
of the premises at Emerald street

1076
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,960
and made some startling discoveries.

1077
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:19,740
If your honour pleases, I
would like to show the court

1078
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:20,900
the following exhibits.

1079
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:22,620
What is the nature of these exhibits?

1080
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,740
Films, your honour, reCovered

1081
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:26,500
from McBurney's offices.

1082
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:27,860
And what relevance do they have

1083
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:28,980
to these proceedings?

1084
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:30,380
The evidence points your honour

1085
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:32,900
to the fact that they were
shot in Mr. Purple's premises

1086
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:33,780
at Emerald street.

1087
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:34,940
But that's impossible!

1088
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:36,740
Correction, they were most likely shot

1089
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:39,100
from a number of remotely
controlled cameras

1090
01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:41,860
concealed in the next flat.

1091
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,680
Clear the public gallery.

1092
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,320
Clear the public gallery.

1093
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:05,780
Ready to roll, your honour.

1094
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:07,880
Proceed.

1095
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:16,820
Now it's up to you to say when.

1096
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:18,380
When what?

1097
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:20,660
When do I take your clothes off?

1098
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:21,780
I'll scream.

1099
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,460
There's no one to hear you.

1100
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:26,680
You come near me or, no it wouldn't happen.

1101
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,280
Oh I haven't trained what I want.

1102
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,680
But Dr. McBurney said,

1103
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,560
What, what did he say?

1104
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:41,900
You coward!

1105
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,780
You rotten little turd!

1106
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:46,740
How dare you treat me like this!

1107
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:48,500
You arrogant little pipsqueak,

1108
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:49,860
watch it, you bloody nit.

1109
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:51,960
Ooh, I'm gonna kill you!

1110
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:00,660
I've had enough of this.

1111
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:02,100
Get it over with!

1112
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,200
Rape me!

1113
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:09,460
Oh, not so fast.

1114
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:11,560
Careful, no careful.

1115
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:44,420
Oh Alvin.

1116
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,920
Why did you hold out so long?

1117
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:51,360
Doctor's orders.

1118
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:57,620
Yes, hmm.

1119
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:59,980
Pornographic movies, your honour.

1120
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,060
Hmm.

1121
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:05,460
Are there any more of them, hmm?

1122
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:07,560
There are indeed.

1123
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:12,660
It's going to set me scurzy, arr!

1124
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:14,540
I beg your pardon!

1125
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,620
Don't you dare touch me

1126
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,420
you black hearted heathen!

1127
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,100
Take that, you filthy lecher!

1128
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,200
Oh!

1129
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:06,520
You brute.

1130
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:11,280
There's only one way to
deal with people like you!

1131
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:15,140
As you can see, Dr. McBurney
ran a very lucrative business

1132
01:08:15,240 --> 01:08:16,820
in blue movies.

1133
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:21,740
Hmm, and how does one hire such things?

1134
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:23,840
I mean,

1135
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:29,880
their circulation must
present certain difficulties.

1136
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:33,140
They're sold I understand
for 1000 dollars a print

1137
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:36,500
and screened at stag parties
all over the country.

1138
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,600
Yeah, indeed, hmm.

1139
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:45,060
If you lay as much as one finger on me

1140
01:08:45,160 --> 01:08:47,160
I'm telling you.

1141
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,240
I'll call for the police.

1142
01:08:55,440 --> 01:08:57,440
What are you doing, Alvin?

1143
01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:01,800
Unbuttoning my blouse, Alvin?

1144
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:11,520
I'll have to call them, I'm quite serious.

1145
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:20,200
If this goes on for one minute
more, I will call the police.

1146
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:26,200
Alvin, you are undoing my skirt.

1147
01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:33,120
You realise you could be charged for that.

1148
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:42,080
Take your hands off my bra, Alvin.

1149
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:45,220
I'm warning you.

1150
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:47,340
I'm quite serious.

1151
01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:49,440
I will call the police.

1152
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:59,280
This is an offence.

1153
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:02,120
You'll be charged with assault.

1154
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:08,560
Alvin.

1155
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:22,400
Now you've done it.

1156
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000
You've called my bluff.

1157
01:10:25,520 --> 01:10:28,080
I will call the police.

1158
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:46,680
Police!

1159
01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:49,540
Please!

1160
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:51,820
Police!

1161
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:53,920
Police!

1162
01:10:54,440 --> 01:10:56,440
Please.

1163
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,040
Oh please.

1164
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:01,520
Please, please.

1165
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:04,460
I'm sorry, Tina.

1166
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:05,940
Police!

1167
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:07,860
Please understand!

1168
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:09,960
I never wanted it, Tina!

1169
01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:13,720
Police!

1170
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:19,860
In summing up, ladies
and gentlemen of the jury,

1171
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,860
I would like to point out that this trial

1172
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:25,100
has been one of the most
enjoyable experiences

1173
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,780
in all of my 30 years on the bench.

1174
01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:30,980
The accused and all of those involved

1175
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:35,460
have unashamedly and in a
commendably honest manner

1176
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:37,900
exposed to the public gaze

1177
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:42,740
all of those interesting, not
to mention fascinating ways

1178
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:45,500
they put in their time.

1179
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:48,700
Speaking as a judge, I
found it a welcome relief

1180
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:52,180
to the usual parade of
wife beaters, drunks,

1181
01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:54,020
tax evaders, et cetera,

1182
01:11:54,120 --> 01:11:58,400
whose antics I find of no
entertainment value whatsoever.

1183
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,500
However there are charges to be answered,

1184
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:07,220
and serious charges at that.

1185
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:11,740
Was Purple acting in his
capacity as hired stud,

1186
01:12:11,840 --> 01:12:14,540
a therapist somewhat ahead of his time,

1187
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:18,140
or was he merely pursuing the age old trade

1188
01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:21,580
of male prostitute or gigolo?

1189
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,220
What's he to be charged with,

1190
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,820
incitement to commit
adultery, false pretences,

1191
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:29,260
running a common boarding house?

1192
01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:31,360
And who is to be charged?

1193
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:33,980
On Dr. Sort's evidence,

1194
01:12:34,080 --> 01:12:37,460
Purple was merely acting
as an agent for McBurney

1195
01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:40,860
who as we all know is not here today

1196
01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:42,020
to face the court.

1197
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:44,200
You are failing in your
duty if you do not instruct

1198
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:46,340
the jury to bring down
a verdict with guilty.

1199
01:12:46,440 --> 01:12:48,920
Indeed, Madam, kindly be seated.

1200
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:56,700
Now then, we come to the
matter of the manufacture

1201
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:58,620
of these blue films.

1202
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,020
If as I believe to be the case,

1203
01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:03,580
Mr. Purple was starring
in these productions

1204
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:06,460
without his own knowledge,

1205
01:13:06,560 --> 01:13:09,640
then how can he be properly
be charged as an accessory?

1206
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:14,900
Once again, it's unfortunate
that McBurney is not here

1207
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:16,140
in court today.

1208
01:13:16,240 --> 01:13:18,740
You can't turn this man loose on society.

1209
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:21,540
He has preyed upon and
exploited the affections

1210
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:23,640
of women all his life!

1211
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:26,020
Do calm yourself, madam.

1212
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:27,540
Be seated.

1213
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:29,780
He's a menace!

1214
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:31,880
Can't you see he must be put away?

1215
01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:43,160
I can't.

1216
01:13:45,440 --> 01:13:48,060
These then, ladies and
gentlemen of the jury

1217
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:49,740
are the facts you must remember

1218
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:52,420
when you go to consider your verdict.

1219
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:55,460
Is the accused guilty of the crimes

1220
01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:57,500
with which he has been charged?

1221
01:13:57,600 --> 01:14:01,220
Or is he guilty of merely being used

1222
01:14:01,320 --> 01:14:05,160
by the man who committed the crimes?

1223
01:14:16,960 --> 01:14:18,960
Be seated.

1224
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:24,140
Has the jury reached a verdict?

1225
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:26,240
We have, your honour.

1226
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:29,620
And what is your verdict?

1227
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:31,220
Not guilty, your honour.

1228
01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:34,260
♪ Yeah get 'em Alvin ♪

1229
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:57,900
♪ Why oh why does it have to be you ♪

1230
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:02,320
♪ Why oh why does it have to be you ♪

1231
01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:10,980
I don't know what to attribute
your success to, Alvin.

1232
01:15:11,080 --> 01:15:16,020
Immorality, ignorance,
cunning, or sheer bloody luck.

1233
01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:19,640
What the hell?

1234
01:15:30,120 --> 01:15:30,860
Who are they?

1235
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:32,740
I got no idea.

1236
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:34,420
Hey, wait a minute.

1237
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,100
They look like the husbands
of some of my patients.

1238
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:38,300
You better get going, boy.

1239
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,320
I'll go down and head them off.

1240
01:15:45,600 --> 01:15:47,220
We wanna see Alvin Purple.

1241
01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:50,460
I don't care if you've
been given us the face.

1242
01:15:50,480 --> 01:15:51,820
Now I don't care if you're blood,

1243
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:53,060
you can't come in mate, he's not here.

1244
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:55,220
That's not good, guv, he's not here.

1245
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:58,000
Wait, look, but I'm telling you.

1246
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:04,420
Don't push, you don't need to push, mate.

1247
01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,540
No, just get back will you, just come on.

1248
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:13,640
Easy there, ladies.

1249
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:22,820
Hey, he's getting away!

1250
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:26,680
He's getting away, come on!

1251
01:21:37,440 --> 01:21:39,540
VHF18 to tower.

1252
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:41,700
This'll be good to run.

1253
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:42,500
Through down to first,

1254
01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:44,260
then up the fourth now to finish up.

1255
01:21:44,360 --> 01:21:45,100
Yeah.

1256
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:47,200
How are you mate?

1257
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:51,400
Pair up, lighten up.

1258
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,260
High fall, okay let's bust over the garden.

1259
01:21:55,360 --> 01:21:57,360
This'll be jump run.

1260
01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:05,720
Let's go!

1261
01:22:08,520 --> 01:22:10,300
I'm not really a skydiver!

1262
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:11,900
I'm Alvin Purple!

1263
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:14,660
Yeah, and I'm the king of Siam, come on!

1264
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:16,760
No, no!

1265
01:22:28,080 --> 01:22:30,320
What bloody cord do I pull?

1266
01:22:31,520 --> 01:22:33,300
That one!

1267
01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:35,400
That one!

1268
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:39,280
Friends, brethren.

1269
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:44,500
It is all too easy,
looking at the spectacle

1270
01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:47,100
of the modern world today

1271
01:23:47,200 --> 01:23:49,660
to throw up one's hands in horror

1272
01:23:49,760 --> 01:23:51,760
and become a profit of doom.

1273
01:23:52,720 --> 01:23:56,100
Probably never in the
history of civilization,

1274
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:58,720
not since the fall of the Roman Empire

1275
01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:01,860
has the moral fibre of mankind

1276
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:03,960
been in such grave peril.

1277
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:08,700
The mass media speaks of
the permissive society,

1278
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:11,420
but have you ever paused to consider

1279
01:24:11,520 --> 01:24:13,520
exactly what that might mean?

1280
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:16,540
Let me tell you.

1281
01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:20,720
Nothing, I repeat, nothing is forbidden!

1282
01:24:22,040 --> 01:24:24,580
You can commit adultery, you may fornicate.

1283
01:24:24,680 --> 01:24:29,660
Homosexual acts are permissible
between consenting adults.

1284
01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:32,780
No matter what your sexual predilections,

1285
01:24:32,880 --> 01:24:37,220
you may indulge them without
any sense of guilt whatsoever.

1286
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:42,320
Sin it would appear is as
outdated as the chastity belt!

1287
01:24:43,960 --> 01:24:46,860
Whatever you may be to
use the current phrase

1288
01:24:46,960 --> 01:24:50,380
straight or gay, sadistic, masochistic,

1289
01:24:50,480 --> 01:24:52,480
auto-erotic, whatever.

1290
01:24:53,320 --> 01:24:57,380
The permissive society allows
you to indulge yourself

1291
01:24:57,480 --> 01:24:58,780
up to the hilt!

1292
01:24:58,880 --> 01:25:00,880
McBurney!

1293
01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:02,500
Alvin?

1294
01:25:02,600 --> 01:25:05,820
Friends, friends we have here before us

1295
01:25:05,920 --> 01:25:09,100
one of the most terrible examples, no,

1296
01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:11,940
in all charity I must say victims

1297
01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:14,120
of the permissive society.

1298
01:25:15,120 --> 01:25:17,300
Alvin Purple.

1299
01:25:17,400 --> 01:25:19,540
Alvin.

1300
01:25:19,640 --> 01:25:20,820
Alvin.

1301
01:25:20,920 --> 01:25:22,500
Alvin!

1302
01:25:25,680 --> 01:25:27,300
Repent, Alvin!

1303
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:29,180
Repent, Alvin!

1304
01:25:29,280 --> 01:25:31,280
Alvin, repent!

1305
01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:34,260
Come here, my boy!

1306
01:25:34,360 --> 01:25:36,360
Alvin!

1307
01:26:29,520 --> 01:26:31,520
Disgusting abyss.

1308
01:26:59,280 --> 01:27:00,500
Where's Tina?

1309
01:27:00,600 --> 01:27:01,620
Tina Donovan?

1310
01:27:01,720 --> 01:27:03,900
Well she resigned from
the job three days ago.

1311
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:05,180
Did she say where she was going?

1312
01:27:05,200 --> 01:27:06,060
No.

1313
01:27:06,160 --> 01:27:07,020
Vanished into smoke.

1314
01:27:07,120 --> 01:27:08,620
She's off her rocker.

1315
01:27:08,720 --> 01:27:10,860
Carmella says she's thinking
of joining a convent.

1316
01:27:10,960 --> 01:27:12,860
Tina, you're joking.

1317
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:14,960
I'm not, mate.

1318
01:27:15,400 --> 01:27:16,220
I've gotta see her.

1319
01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:17,740
I wouldn't advise it, boy.

1320
01:27:17,840 --> 01:27:19,620
Not after what I heard her say about you.

1321
01:27:19,720 --> 01:27:21,720
What did she say?

1322
01:27:22,240 --> 01:27:24,600
She said you were evil.

1323
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:27,660
Evil!

1324
01:27:27,760 --> 01:27:28,940
Another round, thanks.

1325
01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:30,820
Make mine a pop, thanks.

1326
01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:32,920
What else did she say?

1327
01:27:34,080 --> 01:27:36,060
Well she said,

1328
01:27:36,160 --> 01:27:38,740
- are you sure you wanna hear this?
- Yeah, come on.

1329
01:27:38,840 --> 01:27:40,300
Well she said she didn't
know how she'd behave

1330
01:27:40,320 --> 01:27:43,320
if ever she had the
misfortune to see you again.

1331
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:51,480
Well there's only one way
to find that out, isn't it?

1332
01:28:23,600 --> 01:28:25,660
I love you, Alvin.

1333
01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:28,180
But I could never marry you.

1334
01:28:28,280 --> 01:28:29,700
You must admit your
history doesn't make you

1335
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:31,720
a very attractive marriage prospect.

1336
01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:35,080
That's all in the past, Tina.

1337
01:28:35,880 --> 01:28:37,880
Give us a chance.

1338
01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:40,880
Do people really change, Alvin?

1339
01:28:42,480 --> 01:28:44,480
It would take a lot to convince me.

1340
01:29:01,480 --> 01:29:06,480
Are you the new gardener?

1341
01:29:13,520 --> 01:29:15,520
Would you like a cup of tea?

1342
01:29:18,520 --> 01:29:20,520
Thank you, sister.

1343
01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:40,980
That's a quiet job for a young man.

1344
01:29:41,080 --> 01:29:43,280
Most of our gardeners
are quite middle-aged.

1345
01:29:44,200 --> 01:29:47,740
Well mother, it's the
sort of job that suits me.

1346
01:29:47,840 --> 01:29:51,940
And besides, it has its compensations.

1347
01:30:48,680 --> 01:30:53,780
♪ Alvin make 'em wave bye bye ♪

1348
01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:58,540
♪ Alvin make 'em sing
ding-a-ling, why why ♪

1349
01:30:58,640 --> 01:31:03,540
♪ Alvin make 'em cry ♪

1350
01:31:03,640 --> 01:31:08,740
♪ Alvin make 'em laugh hello ♪

1351
01:31:08,840 --> 01:31:10,020
♪ Alvin make 'em high ♪

1352
01:31:10,120 --> 01:31:13,500
♪ Give them a sigh no no ♪

1353
01:31:13,600 --> 01:31:18,660
♪ Alvin don't let go ♪

1354
01:31:18,760 --> 01:31:23,760
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

1355
01:31:26,160 --> 01:31:31,160
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

1356
01:31:34,560 --> 01:31:36,100
♪ Try to avoid it ♪

1357
01:31:36,200 --> 01:31:37,980
♪ Just resisting now and then ♪

1358
01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:39,980
♪ If you'd only try to understand ♪

1359
01:31:40,080 --> 01:31:42,660
♪ Now there you go again ♪

1360
01:31:42,760 --> 01:31:47,760
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

1361
01:31:50,040 --> 01:31:52,120
♪ Get it ♪

1362
01:32:05,160 --> 01:32:10,160
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

1363
01:32:13,080 --> 01:32:18,080
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

1364
01:32:21,400 --> 01:32:26,400
♪ Alvin make 'em wave bye bye ♪

1365
01:32:26,760 --> 01:32:31,340
♪ Alvin make 'em sing
ding-a-ling, my oh my ♪

1366
01:32:31,440 --> 01:32:36,180
♪ Alvin make 'em cry ♪

1367
01:32:36,280 --> 01:32:41,280
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪

1368
01:32:44,040 --> 01:32:47,800
♪ Why does it have to be you ♪